Thursday, July 31, 2008

Thursday 13 – 156th Edition: 07/31/2008

13 Questions

“If they can get you asking the wrong questions they don’t have to worry about the answers.” - Thomas Pynchon

1. Who says morning is the most productive time? Why do we have to start work in the morning? Why don’t night-owls rule society?

2. Why DO we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

3. Why in the U.S. are the polls (you know, those thing you vote at?) (yes, dear, I know that’s grammatically wrong; pay attention, or we’ll never get through this!) only open during working hours?

4. Same question re: banks. Don’t they WANT us to give them our business?

5. Why is the sky blue?

6. How come they don’t teach budgeting, checkbook balancing, grocery shopping – and bargain-hunting, job search skills, etc. in high school and college?

7. Why are bonuses taxed at 40% in the U.S.?

8. Why do cats always land on their feet and have to sleep on my computer – WHILE I’M USING IT?

9. Why are squirrels really nice when you DON’T have a dog, but the minute you get a dog, they turn into little harlots? “Wanna touch squirrellie?” “Don’t I have a nice tail?”

10. Why are people who own little, disgusting, barking, yappy dogs convinced that their dog is an angel – while it’s barking at effing THREE O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING? (You know who you are…)

11. Why are people so rude? I mean, come on. If I’m walking on the sidewalk, TWO OBJECTS CAN’T OCCUPY THE SAME SPACE AT THE SAME TIME. It’s simple physics, people.

12. Why are CTA (Chicago Transit Authority) conductors so communicative when absolutely unnecessary (like, when we’re stopped short of a station with a train ahead of us, “We’re standing momentarily while the train ahead of us clears the station…”) and absolutely non-communicative during crises (like, when we’re stopped dead on the tracks, the conductor gets OFF the train to check out something on the tracks, then gets back on and we get underway without any explanation… what, did he see a donut or something??).

13. Why do people in public office lie and then stand by it when caught out on it, as though sheer repetition will make their lie true? (What? Of COURSE the sky is purple!)

Happy TT!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in other's comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! Leave your link in a comment, and I'll link back to you here:

Andi's Thursday Thirteen
Eden's Thursday Thirteen
Heather's Thursday Thirteen
Kat's Thursday Thirteen
Dawn's Thursday Thirteen
Gwen's Thursday Thirteen
Kaige's Thursday Thirteen
Liz's Thursday Thirteen
MLF's Thursday Thirteen
Shelley's Thursday Thirteen

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Wiley Wednesday

I've written an essay, "What To Do When Stress Rears Its Ugly Head" at the Writer's Retreat Blog. This is part of our weekly series called "Wiley Wednesday," where one of the writers from the Retreat shares our thoughts on the art, business, and craft of writing.

Check it out!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Thursday 13 – 155th Edition: 07/24/2008

13 Things That Have Happened

Who in the heck IS this Murphy guy anyway? I wanna give him a piece of my mind! (And a kick on the seat of the pants. And maybe a baseball bat…)

1. My car died. Got stranded in Minnesota.

2. Got stranded in Minnesota. Winona, to be exact. While it’s a beautiful town, it’s still five hours from my house.

3. Got stranded in Minnesota. And the rental car place in Winona wouldn’t rent me a car one-way to get home, so I had to go NORTH (the opposite direction from home) to get a car at the Minneapolis airport, so I could drive SOUTH (the opposite direction from the airport) to go home.

4. My car died. In Minnesota. I got back to Chicago with a rented car. But MY car was still IN MINNESOTA. (Astute readers will begin to sense a theme here…)

5. The Bluebook on the car was $2,000. Repair costs STARTED at $1,000. I blew the head gasket, see. Going 75 mph on the open highway in the middle of a cornfield, IN MINNESOTA. (Fixated? Me?) Winona, while beautiful, is five hours from my house. Which is TOO FAR TO WALK. Ergo…

6. The mechanic offered to purchase my car. My boss, a financial planner, blew HIS head gasket at THAT suggestion, and told me that I should donate the car. The deduction, under U.S. Income Tax law, is good for up to five years, by which time we will have purchased our first home and could actually USE the deduction.

7. We managed to donate the car. In Winona. The internet is a beautiful thing.

8. I started MBA courses at Argosy University the same week I got stranded in Minnesota. I love stress.

9. The three classes I’m teaching, two on Artist’s Way related material and one on fiction writing, got behind while I was having my car drama. Two of these classes concluded last week. The fiction class is like a run-on sentence. (It’s a demo. So sue me.)

10. Michael (my husband, remember him?) had surgery on a deviated septum two weeks after I got back. BEFORE we were able to purchase the new car.

11. I got stranded by a cab driver! (GAH!) Actually, to be fair, I didn’t get stranded. But the idjit couldna get his credit card thingie to work. So he had to take me to the bank to get cash – while my drugged up husband wandered into our house by himself! I love stress.

12. I took the week of Michael’s surgery off, intending to clean my house from front to back, top to bottom. I love stress so much, that I slept most of that week. During the DAY. Because I was too stressed to sleep at night. My house is now in WORSE shape than it was BEFORE I took the week off. How the heck does THAT work? (If you know, this is a rhetorical question. Do not attempt to answer this question. In the event that you feel you must answer this question, stab yourself repeatedly in the left eye with a pencil until the urge passes. That’s it. Just like that.)

13. Where was I? … Actually, that’s not a bad question. Where WAS I? (If you say Winona, I’m so going to climb through the intertubes and kill you it isn’t funny.) (No really. It isn’t funny.)

If the foregoing was funny to you in any way, shape or form, you are a sick puppy. Please seek professional help immediately. Me? I’m going into a convent.

Happy TT!

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in other's comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted! Leave your link in a comment, and I'll link back to you here:

Andi's Thursday Thirteen
Eden's Thursday Thirteen
Heather's Thursday Thirteen
Kat's Thursday Thirteen
Dawn's Thursday Thirteen
Gwen's Thursday Thirteen
Kaige's Thursday Thirteen
Liz's Thursday Thirteen
MLF's Thursday Thirteen
Shelley's Thursday Thirteen

Monday, July 21, 2008

The Night Is A Harsh Mistress, Chapter 8

Chapter 8 of The Night Is A Harsh Mistress is up, in which Rachel might, possibly, find a love interest...